Maybe
by Amai
Summary: A depressed Daisuke Motomiya wonders about something...and someone. (this fic includes shounen-ai and thoughts about death, you've been warned)
1. Default Chapter Title

Maybe   
by Amai (shadowseeker16@yahoo.com) 

**Author's Note:** Wai! I did a Kensuke. Well...kind of. Okay, maybe this isn't as cute as some are, but it's very angsty for my Daisuke *sobs* and as much as I love it, I feel for Daisuke- poor guy. Well, anyway, this fic deals with death/shounen ai material. If you don't like it, then please **do not flame me for it.** Just don't read it. And flames with be laughed at. And hard, hehe...and tell me if you want me to write a sequel, I just might! Depends. Anyways...enough of my blabbering, on to the fic-! 

_February 13th, 3:25 PM_-   
  
I'm standing next to the open window. It's raining, and I'm getting cold and wet. But I don't care. What's there to care about? I wonder...   
  
It's going to be Valentines' Day tomorrow. I hate Valentine's Day....it was one of the true times I was seriously alone. And that's my biggest fear, being alone.   
  
Heh...aren't I supposed to hold the crest of courage? Then why don't I have the courage it so proudly shines? Why? Maybe. Maybe...maybe...it's wrong. Maybe they're right. Maybe I'm not needed.   
  
I wonder....if I killed myself would it even matter to anyone? Would they care? They say that committing suicide is selfish to the ones that love you. But..but..what if there were no ones that loved you? Would it still be selfish, would it still take something from the world?   
  
Maybe. Maybe, I should just end it now. But, even if I killed myself, would it end the pain? The pain of knowing that I love someone with all the love that I couldn't have, and knowing that there's no way in hell that they person would love me back?   
  
No, I'm not talking about Hikari.   
  
She can have TK, I'm happy for them, actually. I gave up on her a while ago. Maybe. Maybe I wasn't even in love with her in the first place. Maybe, it was just a shield to hide my true feelings. To hide that...I was different. But, he wouldn't understand that.   
  
Yes, he.   
  
I don't know if it's the fact that it's a he that I love, or if it's because that he is our enemy that kills me. Eats me internally. Why does it hurt this much? It shouldn't. I shouldn't be feeling this. Maybe. Maybe, it's because I want to give him the love I can't have...because that's the extent of the love that I feel when I look into his violet eyes. An enigma to my ignorant being.   
  
It wouldn't take that long to end it all...really, it wouldn't.   
  
Maybe. Maybe...I should do it.   
  
But then, I see chibimon. Sleeping. I realize...that even if he's the only one that loves me, it changes it all. It changes the suicide to a selfish act...he lives for my happiness. I..I couldn't do that to him.   
  
He wants me to be happy.   
  
But I'm only happy when I'm with the one I love. Maybe...that means, if I could be happy being with him, I should go see him..should I?   
  
The others would hate me for it. But, they would hate me for everything I did. Maybe. Maybe, they'd be even happy if I left for the other side. Yes, happy. Just...let him accept me, please let him accept me...it's all I can wish for. Chibimon would understand if I left for him. He told me so. Maybe.   
  
Not maybe. I'm sure now. I'm going. And if he accepts me, all I can say is that, it was nice knowing the other side...   
  
I'm writing a note right now, to tell them whoever cares that I'm gone. They won't understand...at least, most of them. I look over at my sleeping friend. Don't worry, even if I'm not accepted, I'll come back to you. I promise. Like I said, even with one person, suicide is selfish.   
  
God, I hope my first crest comes through.   
  
I'm coming, Ken Ichijouji.   
  
**To be continued....? You decide.**   
  
  
Onegai, R/R! And tell me if you want a sequal or not ^^ 


	2. Default Chapter Title

Maybe, Part 2   
by Amai 

**Disclaimer-** (I forgot the put this in the last fic *curses*) Daisuke, Ken, and Digimon are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies. 

**Author's Notes-** Wow, wasn't that fast? ^^; I'm such a sucker to the reviews. I've decided, that I'm going to make this a series about Ken and Daisuke. Luckily, I'm in a good, creative mood, so I can pump out things for it =) Hopefully, this will go well, ne? Now, be a good reader and after you read, review so I know if I'm doing well, or bad. But, if I'm doing bad, please be mature about it and don't flame? I need not say more =P On, and just so you know, this is going to be alternating Ken's and Dai's POVs. Ken is talking in the last part. On to the fic... 

_February 13th, 4:02 PM_   
  
Finally...I'm here. The digital world. It would have taken less time if no one saw me. I didn't feel like talking to anyone, yet they still bothered me. It's ironic, actually. They start paying attention to you when you don't want it. I'm tired. I've been tired for the past month.   
  
Tired...that was exactly it.   
  
Tired of Hikari's fake smiles and fake rejections to every friendly invite after school I offered. Tired of fighting in vain with Takeru for reasons I can't even remember. I want it to stop...   
  
But...   
  
But, I'll have to deal with it if I want to get to Ken. Anything to get to him. He's either going to be my savior or my undertaker.   
  
I'm walking, and the water on me from the rain is starting to bother me. I don't know why I couldn't feel it before...in fact, I wonder why I didn't feel anything at all...As I get closer to his tower, I can feel more. My heart is beating faster than me. God, courage...help me with this, onegai..   
  
I stand next to a tree for support. K'so! I'm such a coward...go forward, Daisuke you idiot. Forward!   
  
"It's not healthy to insult oneself, Motomiya."   
  
No. It..it couldn't be...   
  
Ken.   
  
His voice holds something new to it, like he knows why I'm here. I grab enough of that god-forsaken courage to speak, albeit shaky, but better than nothing...   
  
"You wouldn't know..."   
  
I sound cold. Damn...that's not what I wanted at all, anything but that...leave it to old Dai to fuck things up. I can feel him smile, even though he's on the other side of the tree. He doesn't move.   
  
"I know why you're here. I can feel it, taste it, Motomiya. But, you don't know what it takes..you really don't." This time he has a tint of amusement in his tone. How could he possibly know...how could he feel it? What does he mean by "You don't know what it takes.."?   
  
"I don't care what it takes! I'd do anything! For...", I falter a bit, tears growing in my eyes. Damn emotions got the best of me...   
  
"...you...I'm even leaving the others, Ken. I can't stand it anymore, I can't breathe without you, I can't even think..I..", Ken silences me, still behind that tree.   
  
"I believe you. But...."   
  
Another smirk.   
  
"You must prove it."   
  
Prove it..? What the hell is he talking about..he said he believed me, but he wants me to "prove it"?   
  
"You don't get my point. And I doubt you will ever get it. Come with me, Motomiya. And..", he pauses, savoring the moment. I can tell.   
  
"..Go slowly. You'll need all the strength you have for this."   
  
I try to ask him something else, but he's gone. Prove it...? I..I thought I already did...Ken..what do you want? Why am I so confused...?   
  
----   
  
He is so close...yet, I cannot touch him. Daisuke.   
  
The Fire of Courage. Yes, that explains you too well, my Daisuke. For once, in my life, I don't know the solution. I really don't.   
  
It's going to hurt, Daisuke.   
  
It's going to burn.   
  
But, you'll see...it's my test, Daisuke. It's my test to see how strong you really are. I need someone strong, I need someone who can share the pain. Are you the one, Daisuke? I do believe so.   
  
You're not going to need your digimon.   
  
If you're not strong, you will hate me for this pain. You will hate me for the delight I will have when you collapse, Daisuke. If you are not strong, you won't get up.   
  
But...   
  
If you truly are strong, you will get up, and ask for more. Daisuke, I need this strength.   
  
Because, as I sit here, I realize, that to love Ken Ichijouji, you have to be strong.   
  
**-End of Part 2-**   
  
As always, R/R! 


	3. Default Chapter Title

Maybe, Part 3   
By Amai 

**Disclaimer-** (I forgot the put this in the last fic *curses*) Daisuke, Ken, and Digimon are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies. 

**Author's Notes-** Wow! I'm on a roll. =D Lots of pain for poor Dai. Even though there's not too much action in this, mostly because Daisuke isn't one who can take a lot of pain, at least I wouldn't think so. This part's a bit confusing. As always, please R/R, and tell me what you think! I won't bite, at least I hope I won't..okay, I'm done, Go on and read! - 

_February 13th, 4:29 PM_   
  
I'm confused...not like that isn't normal. I've entered his tower...it's empty, and cold. Like me. I wonder..is he empty too? Could I fill that emptiness for him..?   
  
"Daisuke. Are you ready? If you aren't, then just leave. I have no need for someone weak."   
  
Ken's voice sounds cold. Almost like he's trying to be that way...what..my mind is racing. Courage, Daisuke..courage...   
  
"I'm ready. I've been ready since I was born.", I'm not sure about myself as I say that..no. I -am- ready....am I?   
  
"Good. Now, my Daisuke....", he purrs in my ear....courage, Daisuke, courage...don't fall apart...   
  
The question.   
  
"Who do you love..?"   
  
W-what?!   
  
"What is that supposed to mean?! I thought you knew..it was yo-". A pain. A sharp pain in my back side. I'm crumbling to the floor. Ken...the whip..he whipped me...   
  
His violet eyes are dancing with delight at my pain..what..what is this..? He speaks,   
  
"Do you think I don't know that? Wrong answer, Daisuke. Let me say it again...who do you love?", He's serious. He really is...what, what am I supposed....to do..?   
  
"I..love..I..", I'm stuttering. I'm confused...it's hurting..it's..   
  
Another whip. This time, it collects a bit of blood. I'm holding my head..think, Dai, think...what does me mean...   
  
Prove it.   
  
I know. I know...   
  
"I..I used to think I loved Hikari..used to hang over her like a lost puppy...trying to break the bond she had with Takeru..but...I didn't love her...I...",   
  
Courage, Daisuke. Courage.   
  
"I...don't love anyone..anyone but you Ken..", I'm saying this slowly, because I don't know how to put it..how I feel. It's so confusing...   
  
"Get up. Now.", he's motioning for me. But my back..it hurts..   
  
"You heard me! Unless you want another beating!", I'm up. Despite the pain it causes. Something tells me that this pain is barely anything compared to what it could be...   
  
I force a question out of my fogged mind, " Wha-"   
  
A punch. Ken punched me....more blood...why..what does this mean...?   
  
I'm getting more confused. I hear him, his voice, full of anger..or pseudo-anger, I can't tell.   
  
"Well, do you love me now?!", It's all so fast. I can't feel him...just the hard punches...hell, I can't even feel those..   
  
"Daisuke, do you love me?! Do you love me after this pain?! Do you like it..? Do you want more? ", He finishes his punches as I collapse on the floor again.   
  
I'm lost for words...I....   
  
"My Daisuke...", he's panting, "Would you love me if I inflicted the most pain you could ever handle on you...would you...?",   
  
Courage. I know...I know...I gasp out,   
  
"I can't stop loving you Ken...because...I know..if I get hurt..you could make it better..you could...", I'm coughing up blood now....damn, must have been harder than I expected...   
  
Another hit. I can't tell what it was, just on my neck....I'm falling into that darkness again..the darkness...all alone..or am I...Ken...?   
  
----   
  
His pain threshold is very thin. One whip to the neck, very measured, has him out cold. I'm panting. This took more out of me than I expected...   
  
My Daisuke....you do make this hard. One part of me hopes he does fall and not get up. So I don't have to do this anymore. But...the other side, the side that finds it so utterly delicious says other wise...and I must say, that side is more powerful than the other.   
  
He's showing potential. He's passed the first part of the exam.   
  
But, it's much more than just passing one simple part. He has to be mine...all mine. I fear that if I just took him now, the others would be able to coax him back to their side...back to pretending.   
  
How it made me sick when he hung all over Hikari like that. I could see that he was lying to everyone...and himself.   
  
He didn't love her. She didn't love him.   
  
I could feel his fear, could feel his shell cracking. After all, that's why he's here. He wants me to take off his cracked shell of lies...to heal him. Which I could very well do, but..as soon as the others would come, it would appear again.   
  
I'm not going to let that happen.   
  
Daisuke, you will be mine. And you'll like it too.   
  
I'm saying this as I stroke your sweating head...you're calming down...instead of tossing and turning like you did in your bed, at night..Do I comfort you Daisuke? After I hurt you...?   
  
A part of me...doesn't want this embrace between you and me to end...it really doesn't...   
  
Valentine's Day is nearing...be mine, Daisuke, be mine.   
  
**-End of Part 3-**   
  
Now go along, R/R! 


	4. Default Chapter Title

Maybe, Part 4   
By Amai 

**Disclaimer-** Daisuke, Ken, and Digimon are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies. 

**Author's Notes-** Got this in a bit late, unfortunately. I was busy! Really! Anyways, the first part of this actually isn't in Dai's or Ken's POV...*gasp!* Yeah, just a bit of info of the people on borin' old Earth, hehehe...and some more angst for our two protagonists, so go, and read on. 

_February 13th, 6:01 PM_   
  
"Daisuke...c-come back.....Daisuke..!", chibimon murmured thrashing about in a half-awake state. Hikari looked down at him with tears in her eyes, shaking her head. Looking at Miyako, she queried,   
  
"Miyako...how long has he been like this?", Miyako shot her back an equally disturbed look and replied,   
  
"Ever since we brought him from Daisuke's house! He started right after we left the place. We don't know what's happening or where Daisuke could be... his sister didn't seem to have any idea either, she thought he was off with us somewhere. This is bad.", Iori piped up, glancing at the fretting chibimon.   
  
"There is a chance he could be in the digital world-", he would have continued if Miyako hadn't of interrupted him, rather brashly,   
  
"Why would he be in the _digital world_ of all places, Iori? That place is dangerous, and knowing Dai he wouldn't want to make more work for himself!",   
  
"Miyako does have a point,", Hikari added, "Why would he have a reason to go to the digital world in the first place. He's got to be somewhere on Earth, but we haven't been having any luck. I've asked nearly everyone, except Takeru, he's away with Yamato for something or another...I can't remember what it was."   
  
"I can't believe Daisuke would be so..so...immature to leave chibimon alone like this! That jerk!", Miyako fumed, glaring at nothing in particular.   
  
"Well, immature or not, we need to find him..", Hikari sighed,   
  
_Daisuke, where are you...?_   
  
—   
  
I'm falling.   
  
Dammit, why does it have to be like this? Why don't I understand...? Why couldn't it be as easy as I thought it would be?!   
  
Ken. My demon and my angel. I have mixed emotions because of him...   
  
And god, it hurts. It hurts so bad. Not knowing what to do. I wonder how chibimon is doing...I hope better than I am. I don't want him to know the suffering I'm going through. Just be happy, for me chibimon. For me.   
  
I see something...it looks like a mirror?   
  
When I glance into it, I can see faces. Hikari, Takeru, Miyako and Iori. Smiling. But where am I? They're so happy...   
  
Then realization hit me like a ton of bricks. They were happy because I wasn't there.   
  
I wasn't there to pester them with my presence.   
  
Falling...   
  
As I near the mirror, it changes into..Ken? S-smiling? And sincerely too. He's holding out his hands to me, welcoming me into them. Falling. I'm accepted..I'm accepted...Falling. The mirror changes again, it's still Ken, but instead of smiling he's grinning. That evilly delighted smile he always seems to have.   
  
I hit the glass, shattering it into a million pieces. And I'm in the darkness again. But, with a cut. A small cut that bleeds more than it should.   
  
My blood...it's leaving me...but I just stare. Blankly.   
  
A touch. Ken again. The first one...the one that was warmer, though. I'm starting to cry again...why the hell do I get so emotional in moments like these?! I want to be strong..I have to be strong..   
  
Ken's holding my bleeding hand, where the cut is.   
  
Don't let go...   
  
I hear him talking, soothing me, but I can't make out the words. He's rubbing my hand..and the cut disappears.   
  
My destoyer, and my savior.   
  
Do I really know what I've gotten myself in now?   
  
—   
  
I woke up in the arms of...him. So warm, and so cold at the same time. It's a different feeling....a good feeling.   
  
Curses, Valentines Day isn't here yet. He still has more torture to go through, although, looking at him now his dreams seem to have added on to his test...but I can't feel it until he's awake. He's looks so peaceful asleep like that...   
  
I realize how much of a selfish hypocritical bastard I'm being. I'm realizing, that I say that I'm strong, but I'm not. And that, I want him to be my strength, to be the one to fill all the emptiness I'm feeling because of that lack of power.   
  
But, it is so much, much more than that....   
  
I'm wasting time like this. Unfortunately, he must wake up. He groans as I kick him in the gut.   
  
"Wake up!", I'm screaming. He opens up his bloodshot brown eyes, and stares at me with a mixed look of several emotions that I can't decipher. With a little bit of trouble, he softly says,   
  
"I know what you want..."   
  
And for some reason, as I stare at him, I think he really does.   
  
**-End of Part 4-**   
  
Be a good person, R/R! 


	5. Default Chapter Title

Maybe, Part 5   
By Amai 

**Disclaimer-** Daisuke, Ken, and Digimon are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies. 

**Author's Notes-** Wow, this one is actually longer! Okay...maybe by not that much, but it's still something. *laughs* I know, I'm torturing you by making this chapters so short, but y'see, if I don't do that I usually don't finish the series because I procrastinate so badly. So what's better, short parts of the story, or no story at all? ;) Don't worry, you'll get to read it all. Lesse...we find out where T.K. is in this! I know you all wanted to know where he was, hehe..not gonna say anything else, just read! 

_February 13th, 6:05 PM_   
  
"You can...", I breathe out,"...hurt me all you want, Ken...", I'm looking him straight in the eyes. "But you'll always end up healing me back. Now matter what...you can't prove anything but that."   
  
I'm trembling. But, as I look back at my love, something's been struck. He slaps me, trembling as well.   
  
"You know nothing! It's..so...much more than that...Daisuke. Look at me now.", I look, but I don't see him...instead I see..me?   
  
Me. Motomiya Daisuke...beating, hurting, Ken. So much blood...but, I'm not the destroyer! I'm not the..one, that hurts...!   
  
The other me stops, breathing heavily as he collapses on the now bloody floor with Ken. Crying. Pure grief...but, I would never do that..I would never! The bloody Ken just smiles, masochistically, coughing up blood. Touching the my..the one crying's shoulder, it all stops.   
  
It's all better now.   
  
I'm snapping back to reality...   
  
"You're as selfish as I am, aren't you Daisuke? You wanted to blame all your pain and anguish on me, didn't you?", Another slap. "Didn't you, Daisuke? Well, put the parts of the puzzle together...because you were wrong. I'm not the destroyer, I'm-"   
  
Another voice...but, not me or Ken. T-takeru?! He bursted in here riding pegasusmon. No...   
  
"What the hell...", he gasps, "..is going on here?!", Damn him! I don't want to see him...me..like this, I want to figure out this puzzle with Ken! I try to say something, but a voice erupts in my head...Ken's...   
  
_Don't. Just leave....until we figure this out, you can't be here. _   
  
The walls are crumbling again...Ken, why are you leaving me? Again...why?! I want to scream. I know he heard me, I know...but instead of acknowledging it, he laughs at the growling Takeru.   
  
"I'm not going to fight you. You can take him. But...you will never have him.", Takeru doesn't say anything, but is grabbing me...pulling me back..into that damned fake world...I don't want to go! But...I'm too weak. I'm falling into darkness again...   
  
—   
  
We have such a long road ahead. And...even I don't know where it leads. I've only figured out part of the game that life is playing with Daisuke and I. I thought it was all my idea...but..it changed.   
  
Daisuke doesn't know it. He has it backwards...he thinks I'm both his angel, and his devil. But I'm not. He is his own devil. As I am my own.   
  
We live to heal each other from the constant battle we have within ourselves..   
  
But, he's just too willing to blame someone, anyone but him.   
  
Now, they're taking him away from me. Takeru...he makes me sick. The damage has already been done, boy of hope. Daisuke will never be yours again.   
  
He's mine, even if he doesn't know it and you can't take him away from me. You are treating him like a toy, carelessly playing with his soul. Don't you understand that if you are careless with someone else's property you might break it? I will know if you break my Daisuke. I can feel him.   
  
And if you break him, I will break you....and this unlike Daisuke, you won't have anyone to heal your cracks.   
  
I'm smirking, because I know, my dear Daisuke...   
  
We're going to finish this puzzle of ours.   
  
—   
  
Hikari frowned to herself, sitting on the couch. Now Takeru was missing? She even asked Yamato, whom she thought was with him but he had no idea.   
  
"Hikari, you've been sitting there for an hour, just staring at nothing.", Taichi's voice cut into her thoughts. He sat next to her, "What's wrong?"   
  
"Everything!", she held her face in her hands, "Daisuke is missing...we've been searching for him the whole day, and chibimon isn't taking it well.", her eyes got a bit teary, remembering chibimon when she last saw him, but she continued. "And Takeru has disappeared, too, even Yamato doesn't know where he is!". Taichi grew serious,   
  
"No one knows where they are...? This could be pretty bad."   
  
"I know...what can we do?", the doorbell rang, as if it was answering her last question. Opening the door Hikari gasped- it was Takeru with an unconscious Daisuke.   
  
"T.K.! You have Daisuke! What happened?", Takeru replied,   
  
"Long story, I'll explain if you would let me in..Daisuke's a lot heavier than I thought..!", Hikari nodded,   
  
"Of course, come in!"   
  
—   
  
"When I first heard that Daisuke was gone from Miyako, I checked his house as well..and found this.", he pulled out a note from his pocket, "It had Dai's messy handwriting on it, so I supposed it might lead us to where he was. It says:   
  
_"If anyone really gives a damn, I've decided to go to the digital world, alone. I probably won't be coming back, and if I do it will only be for chibimon. I don't expect you to go looking for me, or even care actually. Hell, I don't even know why the fuck I'm writing this in the first place. Probably just to let you know that I haven't killed myself or anything. If you see this, please take chibimon with you, and tell him that I'll return to him, I promise. _

Signed, Daisuke." 

Taichi frowned, "Why would he think that we wouldn't care about him?" Takeru shrugged,   
  
"I have no idea...when I saw this, I knew something was up. So patamon and I went to the digital world to find him. Later we found he was in the hands of Ken, of all people! Badly bruised, too! Ken didn't look to good himself, so I'm expecting that Daisuke put on quite the fight as well..."   
  
Hikari sighed, "It's so like him to get himself into things like this...he knows the digital world is dangerous, but he's too hard-headed to care.."   
  
—   
  
_"....he's too hard-headed to care.."_   
  
That's what I hear before I regain consciousness. Hikari. I knew it...she was always so cheerful to me, that's all an act. A fucking act. I'm screaming, that gets their attention.   
  
I try to get up and run, but Taichi and Takeru pin me down.   
  
"Dammit! Let me GO!", I'm struggling to no avail....those idiots! I have to get back....don't they understand I can't stand being in the same room with them now?!   
  
"Not on your life, Daisuke! Now stay still!", Takeru shouts.   
  
"Never! I'm never going back to my old life! I've got to get back...", Hikari looks worried. The keyword is "looks",   
  
"What are you talking about, Daisuke! The digital world? But there's no one there for you....!", They don't understand, they just don't understand...!   
  
All this struggle..so tired..I'm falling into that goddamned darkness again...   
  
"You don't understand...I have...someone...K-...", I can't finish the sentence as the darkness envelopes me again...   
  
—   
  
They're hurting you again, Daisuke. I can feel your tired soul...   
  
My fists are shaking. All of those digidestined freaks are going to pay. When Daisuke and I are together again...you'll see.   
  
You've already started cracking yourselfs. Prepare to be broken.   
  
**-End of Part 5-**   
  
Okay kiddies, R/R! 


	6. Default Chapter Title

Maybe, Part 6   
By Amai 

**Disclaimer-** Daisuke, Ken, and Digimon are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies. 

**Author's Notes-** Wow, got this one actually in..I was cutting it close, I don't like this one too much acutally..*frown* but I hope you like it! Yes, more angst, and stuff like that ;). I don't really have that much to say, so..uh...go on! 

_February 13th, 7:45 PM_   
  
I wake up in a bed...not my own...Taichi's? I can't tell...but it just, feels like it. I refuse to open my eyes, even if I'm awake because I know one of them is there. Next to the bed. They're holding my hand...   
  
"Daisuke, come on...please wake up..."   
  
It's Takeru. Yeah, sure I want to open my eyes now. Why won't he leave me alone? He's sighing, a bit depressed. But of what?   
  
"Why did you fight us back in the living room? We were only trying to help! Something's wrong, but you won't tell us- how do you expect us to help you?", he pauses, like he's waiting for a reply from me. Takeru, I've had enough. You're not getting anything from me again.   
  
"Exactly like you, Daisuke. You're just too stubborn to even acknowledge me. Fine, if you don't want help- be hurt, see what an open wound does when you don't take care of it!"   
  
That was it.   
  
"You have no idea!", I'm shaking, looking at Takeru, who is holding his now red cheek in pain. I backhanded him...he deserved it. He's a fool. He doesn't...wouldn't understand it at all.   
  
"You want to know why I'm in pain...you want to know why I'm empty, T.E.?! No, it's not because Ken hurt me, he didn't....he made me understand why I need him more than any of you!", I'm crying again....holding my head in my hands. I just can't take it anymore.   
  
"You...you're the one's who created the wound, and I'm the one that deepened it because I created a fake me to take it all from you guys...", Takeru's only looking in shock at me. Yeah, be surprised. Be frightened. I'm still shaking.   
  
"Well, I'm not taking it anymore...", I feel my lips curl into a grin...like Ken's...almost insane. Takeru's eyes are narrowing.   
  
"I'd like to see you try to take me, Takeru. Just try....", all he whispers is,   
  
"What's wrong with you Daisuke...", he tries to come closer to me, but I'm too fast. I'm on the edge of the window. Heh...Takeru, if I knew what was wrong with me, I'd be so much happier...   
  
Hikari's in the room now, with Taichi. Both look frantic.   
  
"DAISUKE! Don't be an idiot! You have so much more to do with your life...!", Taichi thinks I'm going to kill myself. Now who's the idiot. I know I can't die until I've finished what I need to do. And seen Ken again...somehow. Takeru's right, what's wrong with me?   
  
"I know Tai...", I'm saying as I drop from the window, "..But..I need to find out just what I have to do with it first...."   
  
Falling. It's become such a common feeling, except now, it's real. I know I'm not going to die, I can feel Ken whispering in my mind..he'll catch me...he'll catch me..   
  
A splash as I land into some water, or something. And here comes the darkness...oh, darkness, you've become a close to me as a brother.   
  
—   
  
"DAISUKE!", Hikari wailed as the boy dropped from the window. She dropped to her knees and sobbed. Takeru, on the other hand, shook his head,   
  
"No, he can't be...it's not that high up..he..", he looked outside to see an yet again unconscious Daisuke in the water bowl below. It was rather large, so it caught him leaving only some scratches and bumps.   
  
"Tai! We've got to go get him, he's not dead...yet! But he's going to need help!", the other boy only nodded in response, and the three went down, Takeru pulling a shaken up Hikari.   
  
When they got there, they looked in pure dismay at Daisuke. He was bleeding, and unconscious, but still had that smirk on his face. Hikari pulled away, not wanting to look at Daisuke this way and said,   
  
"I'm calling the hospital, you guys try to get him out of there...", Hikari then ran off into the house.   
  
Takeru hesitated as Taichi began to life Daisuke's form.   
  
"Hey T.K.! We don't have time to be staring off into nothing, now come on!", Takeru shook his head and began to help Tai. But one thought still rang through his mind..   
  
_What happened to you Daisuke...? What did Ken do to you to make you hate us so much?_   
  
— 

_February 13th, 9:47 PM_   
  
I'm waking up again...god, I'm in the hospital. I think I've been out for a while, because I felt that other people were in the room...I remember what they were saying..pleading to me..first Takeru, then Hikari, then...then...I can't remember...but, none of them were Ken.   
  
I want to see him so badly now. But I can barely move my limbs at all. They ache...but, I'm not sure if that's because of the fall or because of the want that courses through every single bone in my body for Ken.   
  
"I see you don't want to be with your so-called "friends" any more, Daisuke..."   
  
That voice.   
  
"Ken...", I'm managing to choke out.   
  
"Don't talk, you're weak from your past experiences. I have figured out what we need to do, my Daisuke...but you will need to come with us."   
  
Us?   
  
Ken's grinning again as he reveals one hand holding a squirming chibimon.   
  
God....chibimon.   
  
"Let's just say, I "borrowed" him from an unsuspecting Miyako. He was very reluctant indeed, but I changed his mind when I mentioned you...", his grin is wide with amusement.   
  
"But...how can I follow you if I can barely move?", I asked, tired. Man..I'm tired. Maybe I'll get him to carry me...that'd be great...   
  
He's laughing at my thoughts, I knew it...he's trying to build me up. But why doesn't he understand that I'm weak! I'm weak...and he's strong.   
  
W-what...? He's lifting me up....   
  
"Well, we'll build you up when we get where we're going. I was too hasty.."   
  
I feel helpless...it's actually nice, really. I'm just wondering how he's going to get out of the building with me, and chibimon in his hands...   
  
Not that I care...just let us get back safely, Ken.   
  
**-End of Part 6-   
  
As always, R/R! **


	7. Default Chapter Title

Maybe, Part 7   
By Amai 

**Disclaimer-** Daisuke, Ken, and Digimon are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies. 

**Author's Notes-** Wow, it's been a week since I've been doing this, I can't believe I can keep up a story a day...*shakes her head* Anyways, as I was writing this, I noticed how close to an end this story is heading. But don't worry, I'm thinking of starting another story later, which will probably include some kensuke, along with some other things as well ;). And if you want, you can give some ideas of what you think might be a good idea for a story in your reviews, I'm always looking for something to consider! Well then, with that said, carry on...   
  
_February 13th, 9:39 PM_   
  
For once, I didn't fall out of consciousness. I'm back where I was with Ken..But I still have no idea how we go out of the hospital..I don't know..I was out of it.   
  
Rethinking everything that happened today. It doesn't hurt as much, I got it all out.....   
  
So why do I still feel unaccomplished?   
  
"Because you are...we all are. Even they are. Remember, I'm still here...", he sounds tired. Ken, that is. I never really wondered if he was really tired...   
  
I'm in his arms with my arms around chibimon. All of us are tired...but at least chibimon's feeling better with me around. Heh....as I think of it, our lives are all an endless fall. One of us falls, and the other catches us. I caught chibimon and Ken caught me...but then, who will catch Ken?   
  
"Daisuke, you really amaze me. Haven't you learned anything?!" I still don't understand. I'm such an idiot...I could never get this! What does he want? Why can't I give it?   
  
A rough jerk up to my knees by Ken. It's startling chibimon.   
  
"What are you doing to Daisuke?!", Ken gives silences him as he speaks.   
  
"Quiet. Daisuke, listen to me. Now.", I was refusing to look at him before...for reasons I don't even know. But now, when I look up into his face, I see analyzing eyes...eyes that are now discovering something about me that they didn't know before.   
  
"You're so simple. Everything is black and white to you, and you don't like to twist things around. So you don't get that the connection between us is twisted on its own..", he laughs,   
  
"I didn't notice that until now, because I was so busy trying to _force_ you into understanding the point. But it doesn't work that way and you only got the black and white part down. But the gray...is different....my Daisuke, are you hurting?   
  
What an obvious question, Ken. I'm sighing as I speak,   
  
"I've been hurting since the day I was born, I only realized it when the pain overwhelmed me..."   
  
I can't think. Everything is just flooding back to me...all the different feelings I had felt from other people, all negative...   
  
"Then, my Daisuke....", he laid his soft lips upon mine...god, that feels good...   
  
I hear him think to me...   
  
Then, let me be the one to heal the scars...   
  
And I finally understand the grey. I finally do. There isn't just one destoryer, we both are...and when Ken falls, I catch him. When I fall...the kiss tells it all.   
  
If this is a dream, I don't want anyone to wake me up.   
  
—   
  
I was lost, but now I'm found.   
  
It's really funny how much Daisuke and I have in common, actually. The both of us compensate for each of the holes in our soul. But what I'm really laughing at has nothing to do with that.   
  
Daisuke is at a helpless moment now. Like a child yearning for it's mother's milk.   
  
And yes, I do find it oh so delightful to see him beg for it. But only when necessary. What I'm really wondering is though....if I find it delightful to see him beg, would he feel the same?   
  
And the reason that question hasn't been answered is because Daisuke is still begging. I don't beg, I give.   
  
I can see in his soul that he could be just as sadistically delighted in seeing me on the floor as I am to him. And it's quite funny. I actually find him more intriguingly beautiful when he confused. Which he is, a lot. It tells me I still have more interesting doors to open inside of him.   
  
To explore the unknown.   
  
And as I'm kissing him, tasting his very essence, I can tell that I am going to learn more, much more about my Daisuke. As he is to me.   
  
Beautiful, beautiful child....and he's mine, as I am his. And no one, as I suspected , can change that now. It feels so refreshing...   
  
But he's still very weak. I intend to change that. Daisuke must learn to control his vulnerability, because it could easily be taken advantage of.   
  
No, I did not take advantage of it. I could have done that so easily.   
  
Keep in mind that he came to me, I didn't force him to. I gave him so many chances to leave, but he didn't.   
  
And now our connection cannot be broken. Even in death.   
  
It's only a few hours until Valentines Day, and I've found mine.   
  
—   
  
"He's gone....left without a trace.", Takeru sighed. Miyako nodded as well, holding the same distraught expression on her face that was on Takeru's.   
  
"Not only is he gone, but so is chibimon...what happened?", Hikari added in, holding Takeru's hand, as to show him that he wasn't the only one worrying,   
  
"Ken did, that's what. Takeru told us all about it, Tai and I that is...", Takeru slowly nodded. Something was wrong...Daisuke seemed so intent on getting back to Ken. Something was poking at him, but he didn't want to except it, something about the relationship between the Emperor and their young leader...he shook it off and said,   
  
"Ken's never gonna get him, no matter what. He'll die before he can have one...", Takeru hesitated again, but continued, "...of us."   
  
The other's nodded in response as the night sky loomed over Odaiba.   
  
**-End of Part 7-**   
  
Please, R/R! 


	8. Default Chapter Title

Maybe, Part 8   
By Amai 

**Disclaimer-** Daisuke, Ken, and Digimon are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies. 

**Author's Notes-** Sadly, this is the second to last of this series for me. I hope you liked it, because I liked writing it! This one's a bit short, I'm sorry. I did that for a reason, actually (I'm not telling though!). But now you have two fics to look at today, so I wouldn't complain too much! Well, not much more to say, so read on.   
  
_February 13th, 11:41 PM_   
  
"Ken....how can I be strong?", I wanted to know. I was tired of getting hurt....I wanted to know how to protect myself without hurting myself even further.   
  
"Why Daisuke, trying to feel inside of you....have you noticed that you're the only one that has been denying yourself your own strength?", Ken asks me.   
  
I never thought of that.   
  
I have the power to live or to die....as everyone does...but, I fear...that if I was to kill myself, that maybe it would kill both chibimon _and_ Ken.   
  
That would be worse than being sent to hell when I die. Because I know I'm already going to go there.   
  
"I've tried...actually, to cut myself...some people could call that a power.", Ken laughed, shaking his head.   
  
"You are so naïve. I did not say "power", I said "strength". There is a difference. As of right now, killing yourself would be a power...but a weakness as well. To both me and you..."   
  
He was right.   
  
"If you ever want to step on Earth again, Daisuke, you have to have strength. I really...", he hesitates, frowning a bit....but at what?   
  
"....don't think I could teach you that. Force you into it. This is the kind of strength that I suppose,", he's giving me a crooked smile, " my death could unlock."   
  
God, Ken...don't talk about that....if you died...if you died...I'm afraid to think of what would happen..I really am.   
  
I wouldn't know whether to cry or scream. Whether to die or live.   
  
I just wouldn't know. Dammit....my face is getting hot again, fucking tears. I'm choking as I say this,   
  
"Ken...just, don't...ever leave me....I don't know what I would do..I'd feel so...dead..."   
  
"I don't know how to answer that, my Daisuke....my beautiful Daisuke. I have always contemplated my own death, as if it were my life. I don't want to leave, but I know someday I must....and before you will too."   
  
W-what?!   
  
"You've got to be kidding! You can't leave me...you...you can't! I won't allow it, you..."   
  
I can feel it....I can taste it. Now I see....this, this is what Ken wanted. Yearned for from me.   
  
My lips are curling up to a maniacal smile like his...   
  
"You are mine..."   
  
—   
  
He has opened his box that was taped shut from the others.   
  
I knew it. Daisuke was no different than I. Yes, you could call us insane fools....maybe that's what we are. I was waiting for this moment since the day I first saw him. Has he completed his metamorphosis? Is our connection finished?   
  
I may never know. But....he has proven the test for me.   
  
Maybe this is the first part of the puzzle, to find out our connection to each other. Our bond of chains, created by ourselves...   
  
I succeeded to break his many chains created by the others. And it has finally weakened me...but now, now I can feel another strength rising. Daisuke's.   
  
The theory was right. Because, as the cycles turn, and I become weaker...Daisuke becomes stronger.   
  
To protect me? I do not know, but I think so. I'm quite unsure right now, as we're right in the birth of a long life...   
  
As one, Daisuke and I shall prosper.   
  
Perhaps, as midnight changes the day into Valentines' Day....he has given me the best gift anyone could have possibly placed in my hands.   
  
—   
  
With that, two souls intertwined into one.   
  
Courage, Friendship and Kindness have merged together as the first two connectors realized their purpose together.   
  
Thus, starting the cycle of merging for them all.   
  
As always, R/R! 


	9. Default Chapter Title

Maybe, Part 9   
By Amai 

**Disclaimer-** Daisuke, Ken, and Digimon are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies. 

**Author's Notes-** Yes folks, this is the final chapter. It's rather sad really, but I don't know which sadder, the story itself or the fact that this is the last chapter. But, don't worry "Tales of A Fool" is yet another Kensuke as well, a bit more upbeat, but it also has its moments as well, I hope you'll like that as much as some of you liked the "Maybe" series. Anyways, this final chapter takes place 15 years after the rest of the past chapters. I sorta created my own thing here, and I could explain how Tanryoku exists, but I'm lazy and don't wanna. Let's just say that it's nothing too weird or nasty. Ah- I don't want to waste all your time, so read on!   
  
_February 13th, 11:35 PM 2015_   
  
Takeru Takaishi sighed. Valentine's Day was nearing. That meant that the 15th anniversary of Daisuke and Ken's disappearance was heading straight for them. It had been so long...since they had been so foolish as to let the young, but vibrant Motomiya Daisuke fall out of their hands. They had gone after him in the digital world, but he was nowhere to be seen, as well as Ken. Maybe it took him eleven years to finally accept it that...   
  
...It was all their fault.   
  
He couldn't help but cry when this time of year came. It was so hard...so hard to remember. But he couldn't help but to.   
  
"Takeru, you've got to stop blaming yourself..it happened, that's all you can say, but you can never change it.", Hikari rested her head on her love's shoulder. She couldn't help but feel that pang of anguish as well, but she knew they all had to give it up because it wasn't helping anything.   
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right Hikari..but..I mean, you never know how much a person can mean to you until they're gone.", Hikari nodded in response and sighed,   
  
"I know...but I really do wonder, if what Daisuke did prove something...a connection that we as people have to another person..he seemed so intent on finding Ken..maybe it really was true love.."   
  
"We'll probably never know.", Takeru simply said.   
  
"Aa, Takeru...I thought I'd lighten the mood a bit", Hikari said suddenly changing the subject and handing him a gift, smiling.   
  
"What is it?", Takeru shook it a bit, looking at it curiously. Hikari's smile widened, and she prodded him,   
  
"Why don't you open it to find out then?", Takeru smiled back at her and was about to open it when the doorbell rung.   
  
"Who could be ringing at this time?", Hikari frowned as Takeru hopped off the couch they were lying on to answer the door.   
  
"Hello...?", he looked down and saw a little boy, no less than five years of age, looking up at him with wide purple eyes of mixed emotions. Takeru's got a worried look on his face and bent down to the boy's height to talk,   
  
"Hi there, you are you lost...?", the boy wordlessly shook his head and handed him a note. Surprised by this, Takeru hesitated at first, but took the note from the boys hands. When he opened it he gasped,   
  
"H-hikari....I think you better come over here..."   
  
—   
  
A letter. A letter from Daisuke. Takeru's head was spinning. He had disappeared fifteen years ago! How....   
  
Hikari was just as surprised as he when she saw it. Looking over his shoulder she quietly said,   
  
"Takeru, read it out loud....", Hesitating again, Takeru began to read. Maybe this would explain some things...   
  
_"Dear Hikari and Takeru,   
  
It's Daisuke. I'm sure you're all wondering what happened to me. No one understood then, but I trust that now you are all older and more mature (heh...ironic isn't it? I should talk) you would understand my reason.   
  
I was in love. Not the same thing as when I was chasing Hikari, not at all. I finally realized that during the period when I left you all that I was. With Ken. I was also angry, extremely angry at the way you all had treated me when I was still with you.."_, Takeru trailed off, guilt cutting in to him like a rusty knife. Hikari shook her head and said,   
  
"Just continue, Takeru...", he silently nodded and read,   
  
_"..I couldn't stay any longer. I really couldn't...I was growing insane and I needed someone true to share my insanity with me. I could see it in Ken, I could actually -feel- it. So, I left initially for that cause. I couldn't talk myself into ever coming back, once the bond between Ken and I grew...I'm sure you know the feeling of a bond, Takeru, Hikari. You two share one as well."_, Hikari pushed back her tears a bit as he read that and whispered,   
  
"I guess I was half correct about you, Daisuke..."   
  
Takeru continued,_ "But as all things end, so has my time in the sunlight. It has been a year since Ken died and our cycle is starting to dissolve...I lived to build him up as he did to build me up. But now he's gone, I don't have a purpose, and I'm going to disappear as well, so to speak. So, I have one last request of you two, please...I know you may hold a deep hate for me now, but please consider this. This child, is my son. I can't tell you how or why I have him right now for lack of time, but I want you two to keep him after I'm gone, which will be soon.   
  
Maybe I'm hoping too much, but Ken's last words to me struck with this idea. You see...he was always the one to build up my rage against you, but don't be angry at him for that, he had a reason- protecting me. I know you know what I'm talking about. But...I can remember as clear as day what he said to me, 'Maybe...maybe, Daisuke, it's time for them to be forgiven....'   
  
I have never forgotten those words. Ever. And, Hikari, Takeru, Iori and Miyako...   
  
I do forgive you. Maybe we all need to forgive ourselves...I don't know, but yes, I do forgive you. And don't ever forget that.   
  
I've got to stop here, my time is running out. The boy's name is Tanryoku, and hence his name, he's as much as a leader as his father was (or wished to be) but holds the same shadowed gentleness his other father held as well.   
  
Please take him in, and tell him that both of his parents cared for him more than themselves...and more than any of their family members ever did as well. Tell him to be strong.   
  
And please tell him, and the others that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving...but, as before and now, I had to.   
  
And with this, I'm going to where Ken is. See you all later, Hikari, Takeru, Tanryoku. Good bye. _

Signed, Motomiya-Ichijouji Daisuke" 

"Daisuke...I promise I'll take care of him like I never did for you..I promise..", Takeru whispered to himself when he finished.   
  
"He...he really did care...just, we pushed him away..", Hikari sobbed. Takeru nodded, but refused to cry. Instead, he looked down at the close-to-tears Tanryoku, still staring at him almost blankly.   
  
"Tanryoku...are you strong?", the boy gave out a straight reply, despite the tears in his eyes,   
  
"I want to be. Daddy told me about you....will you teach me to be strong?"   
  
"Only if you teach me to be as well."   
  
And with that, one new member was added to the Takaishi family. They didn't know what to think of it all, nor did they care. But they would fulfill their promise to Daisuke, and Tanryoku would grow strong.   
  
And each year, around this time, two souls in hell would look upon their third one, and smile, for even if they were in hell, they had each other to heal their long broken wings. And...   
  
And...they knew Tanryoku had them as well.   
  
**-End-**   
  
Well, that about wraps "Maybe" up! But...seeing this, I still have left room to semi-continue it, explaining somethings that weren't...what do you think? As always, R/R! 


End file.
